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I have always thought that “Out of Order” was a peculiar phrase.  As if something is working it’s in order, but if it’s broken something has become out of place.  It’s misaligned.  Is that true for us too?

There are certainly days that are harder than others.  Some days I feel misaligned.  Some days I feel I want to hang an “out of order” sign around my neck.  Maybe the kids could just fend for themselves.  Maybe dinner would magically appear.  Maybe the invisible box that someone is putting around me will mysteriously vanish!  Fat chance!

Thankfully, over the last few years, I have realized my “out of order” days have improved.  This is thanks to all my spiritual teachers reiterating the same thing…LET GO AND LET GOD!  The more I would push and force things to happen, the more of a struggle my life was.  If I were a train, my tracks did not align.   It would all work short term, but then my body and soul would check out and I was in need of an “out of order” sign.  My anxieties would run high and I would begin the internal dialogues that would not stop.  I would be up all night worrying about something that was NO BIG DEAL!   And then I would be mad at myself for losing sleep for the no big deal. The next day I would be cranky because I lost sleep over the no big deal.   So then it was hard to forgive myself because I was cranky and unforgiving because I really wanted sleep.  All to finalize realize, it was NO BIG DEAL!  I could have stopped the whole derailment if I would have changed my initial thought.  So, now, I try to live in the no big deal world.  I try to follow life where it may lead me knowing God has the highest intentions for me.  I don’t mind being a follower because I certainly don’t want to be the bully for pushing things along.  And the more I will Let God lead me, the less “out of order” signs I will need.

My older son and I soloed it to Sunday evening mass….I forgot it was All Souls Day.  I have been going to mass for 14 or so years.  For some reason, I did not recall the ritual of this service.  Maybe they changed it up since the last time I went.  Anyone who lost a loved one in the last year was given a rose to bring up to the alter.  They were greeted by the priest with a warm hug or a loving pat on the back.  Many loved ones were teary eyed.  It made me think of the loss of my grandmother a little over a year ago. (I really do miss her.  There is so many things I wish I could ask her.)  Then the choir chanted all the love one’s names in a prayer.  I remember when I was converting to Catholicism, it was mentioned in passing how when you sing a prayer, it’s like saying it twice. So, it made me happy knowing that all those recently lost loved ones were getting 2 amazing prayers!  I couldn’t help but really think and almost feel that their souls were dancing around the church.  I felt it was a wonderful way to remember the ones we lost.  What a wonderful way to celebrate their life after their passing.

Robb Bell often talks about how the word spirit and breath are often translated into the same word in many languages. More and more this resonates with me.  As long as we have breath, spirit is in us!  When the congregation’s response from the priest saying “the Lord be with you ” was changed from “and also with you”  to “and with your spirit”, it resonated me.  As I become more “awake”,  I recognize the spirit in all living things.  I know there is controversy around it, but I can even feel the spirit in my dog and the birds around me.  I love me some hawk energy!  🙂

I was reading a story the other day about an amazing thing that some friends did to surprise their friend on her birthday.  It required some divine intervention, but it happened for her.  The story made me so happy for the recipient.  I almost felt the group of friends had done it for me.  I genuinely felt her happiness and cried.  I put down my book and immediately went into a short prayer of gratitude.  All I could think to say was “thank you!”  Moments like this is what I think all the gurus talk about when they address the light in me being the light in you.  Realizing we are all really one in spirit, but separate vessels sure does make life a more joyful place.

After a “Life You Want Weekend” with my friend Claudia, I tried to come up with an idea to keep us both motivated to keep the fires a burning!  They always say when you have a partner in an activity, you will be more successful.  Weight Watchers encourages this, right?  Neither of us needed to lose weight, so I tried to be more creative.  I came up with the daily gratitude text.  Each day we text the other a random thing we were grateful for in our day.  We do not have to respond to the text.  Just read it. We each agreed to the challenge and pinky promised.  Whether it’s soft toilet paper, origami turtles, or leftovers in the frig, we are trying to find the little joys in everyday life and work harder at living the life we want.

One of my patients came in today with her daughter who is on the spectrum for autism.  The girl was so lovely and wanted to keep giving my nurse and I hugs.  She kept telling me I smelled good and asking if I was happy.  She was so looking forward to going to Publix after mom’s appointment to get cookies with sprinkles.  Mom sad she is always happy.  She then told us she was 24 years old.  She did not look older than 16.  It then made me think about how anxiety and negative emotions must make us age.  She is living in a constant state of bliss!  Made me think that I really need to meditate every day, twice a day, so I can age as well as her daughter.  “Shay, Thanks for being my life lesson for the day! ”

Sometimes a hug says it all!

I spent my Saturday morning in a Gratitude Workshop.  For the most part, I feel on track with this practice, but unfortunately, that is what it is….PRACTICE.  Just like anything we do, when when stop doing,  we forget about it.

Today, I want to touch on a few of the pointers I took away from the workshop.

The practice is an attitude and is an active process.  It requires reflection.

It strengthens our spirituality and immune system.

Its obstacles are ego, self-importance, and entitlement.

As a exercise, he had us think about 1 event that occurred in the morning that we were thankful for.  Then he asked us to analyze how our day would have been different if that event had not occurred.  He reiterated that for gratitude practice to be effective, we must be specific.

Thanks for reading my blog!

I grew up in the south with lots of acreage and quietness.  I did not realize how much I loved trees until I moved away to college and then to the big city of Tampa.  When my husband and I started looking for our first house, it was a challenge.  As desires grew, at the top of my list were a kitchen pantry and Oak trees.  The lots were small and the houses were old!  But to me,  a yard was not complete without an Oak tree. I love the shade they provide and the housing they provide to birds. I always love to watch them blow with the wind.   

At our rehearsal dinner 14 years ago, my husband spoke about how much his dad reminded him of an oak tree.  He was grounded and strong and took each storm with grace. Today, that makes me think about how the Oak trees in my yard blow with the wind.  They just go with it.  We can all be more like an oak tree.  Be firmly planted with our roots and take both small and large winds with grace.  Remind ourselves that the wind with not last forever and that this too shall pass; appreciate the wind as well.  If there was no wind, life would be stagnant.  Wind brings great change!

In a effort to live more consciously, we just got our baby chicks to have a little bit of farm life in the city.   We should have eggs in about 6 months!  They are so cute and I really enjoying loving on these sweet creatures. When I look at them, I can’t help but think back to science class and learning abut imprinting.  I remember learning about how geese imprinted on the first creature they see after they hatched. And there’s no changing it!   (If you are a Twilight fan this may ring a bell too.)

Today, it made me then start thinking about conditioning.  This is totally learned.  So, while I was not there for their birth, I’m trying to condition them to not peck me when I go in their coop.  I want them to like to be picked up and think of humans as friendly.  I want them to welcome me into their surroundings.

So, like these baby chicks, ultimately we need to uncondition ourselves to the things we want to change about ourselves.  Maybe you have heard the term neuroplasticity to describe the human mind.  We always have the ability to change an unwelcomed habit.

Whatever it is, we have the ability to mold our actions in another direction. We just need to start the change. I have always heard it takes 2 weeks of doing something to make it a habit. Some studies say longer. I say make it small. If you want to stop eating meat, stop one type of meat for 2 weeks.  If you want to detox, eliminate 1 food for 1 week before you eliminate them all.  If you want to exercise more, start walking for 10 minutes a day and work up to 30. Baby steps are big.  It took years if not a lifetime to form the habit you want to change. You are most likely not going to change it overnight!  Be patient with yourself.  Condition yourself like you would a small baby chick! 🙂

Konrad Lorenz and his geese demonstrating imprinting.

Practice saying this in your head before you walk in the room to meet someone.  The energy should always shift! 🙂

Isn’t it funny how evil is always trying to overcome the good in all the movies?

Recently I threw my middle son a Star Wars birthday party.   Doing all my Jedi research and learning to speak more like Yoda, I came across some great Yoda quotes.  I always liked Yoda, but realized He was one enlightened Jedi Master.

As i have watched the Star Wars  movies as an adult, I picked up some spirtual lessons within the movie. They seem to have a Buddhist trend to me. Of course the theme was to use the force to overcome the dark side.  Could the force just be another name for spirit? Could Darth Vader really be the real dark side or our shadow side?According to Wookieepedia Yoda was one of the most renowned and powerful Jedi Masters in galactic history. He was known for his legendary wisdom, mastery of the Force and skills in lightsaber combat.

Teach us your wisdom, you must. Hmmmmmmm.

Below are a few of his quotes.  Next to them are quotes from other spirtual leaders that they reminded me of.

Named must your fear be before banish it you can.  (reminds me of the Shadow work Debbie Ford talked about)

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. (Mariann Williamson talks about there are two main kinds of thoughts-love or fear.  Love leads to love and fear leads to anger)

Try not. Do or do not. There is no try. (We Need to Dare Greatly-Brene Brown)

Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed that is. Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose. (Buddhist 4 Noble Truths)

Always pass on what you have learned. (When you learn, teach. When you get, give. Dr. Maya Angelou)

Always in motion is the future. (Be Here Now-Ram Dass)

You will find only what you bring in. (Only what we are not giving can be missing in any situation-Mariann Williamson)