There is one thing that my mom does with me almost every time I get on the phone with me….She asks me “how’s the weather down there? Did ya’ll get any rain there today?”  It drives me CRAZY!!!! If I am not worryied about my house flooding and needing to evacuate, the weather is NOT something I care to chat about.

Years ago I read The Work by Byron Katie.  She talked about 3 types of business.  There’s your business, the other person’s business, and God’s business.  And she encourages you to manage y
our own.  The weather falls under God’s business.  So worrying or bitching about it is just going to
stress you out because you can’t do anything about it.  Just like trying to manage someone else’s business and trying to change who they are is just going to stress you out.

So when my mom asks me about the weather, it even stresses me out to chat about it.  It seems like such wasted conversation, right?  Or is it?

I recently visited my great aunt over the Labor Day weekend.  She’s in her late 80’s.  We talked about a few things and then a conversation about tv shows came up.  She said “I really don’t watch tv, but I like to watch the news so I can see what the weather is doing.”  It made me wonder what is the deal with the freaking weather?  I have no time to worry about it and they are so focused on it?  So, the next time I was in the car alone I started to think about the weather…..

I mean it’s so variable….It can change at the drop of a hat.  You can be really screwed for forgetting your rain boots, but ya live!  There is so much variance in my life on a daily basis….take the kids here, meeting after work here, call to get the oven repaired, schedule a dentist appointment….so, the fluctuations of the weather has little significance to me….

….But to my great aunt, there is not much diversity in her days.  She sits at home.  She may work a little in the yard.  No one really comes to visit.  She may clean her house, but she lives alone with no pets so it’s usually quite clean. It made me realize that the weather gives her a little variety.  It may brighten up her day with lots of sunshine or make her feel gloomy because it’s going to pour, but it’s a variance in her day.  And she feels prepared for it! It’s what old people need to focus on so they can break away from the mundanes of the golden years.

So, the next time your loved one asks you about the weather, remember it’s what is giving them some excitement… and you will weather the conversation well! (say that 3 times fast Ha!)

Often times I think we are unhappy because we live our lives like someone gave us an “Employment Manual” to abide by.  We think there are all these rules and regulations that must occur to be accepted by others and to succeed.  Sometimes these rules we are abiding by are not our soul’s intention. We did not write them or have any input.   So, it does not feel right or comfortable.  Over time, I have realized if something is not feeling “right,” it’s because it’s not my authentic self.  I am not meant to act or proceed in this manner.  It could be something as simple as losing sleep or that yucky feeling in the solar plexus.  Whatever it may be, I called it a “friction rub”.  It is how my soul brings something to my attention. So I go in an write an addendum to the manual. Maybe I am breaking someone else’s rules, but as I get older, I realize it does not really matter.   I am thankful for the wisdom and know one manual does not for for everyone! I encourage you to think about your friction rubs and get those addendums written!

Oh! How I am a creature of routine.  I think as humans we all like it.  And we can get in such routine, we function on autopilot.  Have you ever driven home and not remembered the drive? Been there!

So, being a routine kind of girl, it makes me frustrated when there is road construction and I can’t take my normal route.  The guys shuffle all us cars down a new street and we have to weave through neighborhoods or wrong way streets.  Just not my ideal situation.  But maybe with that detour I see a new little shop I had not heard of?  or a cute house with the greatest curb appeal? Or what about that awesome tree-what kind is it anyway?  So many new things.  All in all the detour is blessing me with all this newness.  It’s like getting glasses if I had bad vision?

As I walk through this earth school, I need to realize the detours of life are growing and expanding my awareness as a human just as the driving ones.  If we want to evolve, we have to welcome the detours and break free from the autopilot. There is so much newness out there to continue to awaken us!  Think about what detour you took this week?

ARE SO BEAUTIFUL!

If you have been in the office recently, you probably know my beloved golden retriever, Chewy, passed at the end of July unexpectedly.  She was the half sister of Leia, whom we had to euthanize 2 1/2 years ago. Leia is the beloved teacher I speak of in my “About Page”.

Leia was buried in our backyard in February of 2103.  Chewy passed during all that torrential rainfall at the last week of July that created so much flooding in south Tampa.  Needless to say, we could not dig a burial site in our yard because the ground was so saturated.  So, we elected to do a private cremation.

Monday was the day for me to go pick her up.  I exited my car to enter the emergency vet and past and sweet four-legged friend.  Luckily, this friend was not a golden, so I could maintain my composure until I was able to converse with the office staff.  I spoke with the receptionist and she handed the bag over to me.  As I turned to leave the counter and head to the car, I could feel the tears beginning to swell in my eyes.  As I got to the car, everything was just blurry because all the tears coming down.  In the car with the bag, I sat and just felt weird.  I felt as if the world had stopped.  Was I breathing? Was there still oxygen to breathe in? I felt as if I could not move.  Nothing seemed to matter at this moment.  All that mattered was my sweet puppy was sitting next to me…in a box! I was a little weirded out that this was her body in this tiny little box.  I felt guilty I could not open it at this time.  But, this was my first experience with ashes; I did not know what to expect.  After I sat and cried for about 20 minutes and listened to Tracy Chapman’s The Promise, I felt like I could finally move again.

I drove home and placed the bag on the formal dining room table until Tuesday night.  I felt I had enough heartache for the evening.  Tuesday evening, I gathered up the courage to open the bag. First there was a grieving book.  I read over that.  Then I read over the medical records to help me try to put closure on the emergency.  As I completed the last page, it concluded with her going into cardiac arrest and “the owner” electing to euthanize prior to onset of agonal respiration.  I layed the papers on the table and subconsciously, I said to myself, “and that’s how it ended.  I felt like I closed a book. It was the last page of that book.  And, I needed to start a new book. She would want this.

I then unwrapped up the mahogany box.  Tucked inside was a Burgundy velvet bag.  As I was not ready to look at the ashes, I mashed on the bag.  I was taken by the density and mass inside that bag.  As I sat there for a few more minutes, I knew I needed to look inside.  I picked up the velvet bag and again was amazed with the weight… I finally was brave enough and I peeked inside….

Such Beauty radiated from it! While there was no extreme colors, beige and sand and gray were all mixed up.  Such subtleness creating beauty.   It reminded me of the recent gem mining trip we took in North Carolina with the boys.  I felt like I was looking at small gems.  And if anyone had ever met Chewy, you would agree that if we put all this back together, she made a marvelous gem!

I miss her terribly, but I look forward to the next book….until we meet again!

Hola Amiga! It has been awhile since I sat down to blog.

Today, I want to share with you a recipe from my recent 2 week detox.  I created this from combining several recipes I found online.  I really like it!  My 4 year old will drink it too as long as his older brothers are both around make yuk faces to me.  It’s super easy and make me feel I am getting a healthy start to my morning!

Combine the following ingredients in a blender and enjoy!

1 banana

2 c fresh kale

1/2 c unsweetened vanilla almond milk

1 tsp maple syrup

2-3 fresh strawberries.

As the lady decided to ride my bumper today because I was not going 40 mph through the school zone, I gave her funny looks in the mirror as I verbally reminded her that we were in a school zone as if he could hear me.

Years ago, I could have been her.  I wanted to be in the fast lane…And I probably was about to loose my mind!   It was all about me!  What I noticed over the last few years was I enjoyed the school zone (as long as I was not in a rare frantic late state). Seriously, mandatory driving in the school zone at 20 mph made me slow down and look around me.  It made me feel different than those moments of panicky or zoned out driving.  It was strangely calm.   It was my introduction to moving meditation.

Years later when I began to meditate, the school zone was my analogy to Thich Nhat Hanh’s walking meditation.  It teaches you to find peace and joy in each step of life.  Where do we need to be in such a hurry?  It teaches you to slow down.

I always say that I love gentle reminders.  Diving through one or two school zones each day are my gentle reminders to be in the moment, notice my surroundings, and chillax! Namaste

As I look back over the years and analyze how I am with my third son at 4 years old versus my first two at that age, I sometimes wish I could have been the mom I am now for the older two at 4 years old. I try not to beat myself up over it.  I remind myself with each kid different milestones were occurring and siblings were being born.  I was a newbie to the mom thing when the first one turned 4.  Nearly a decade of parenting has seasoned me to become more laid back, less helicopter, and possibly less nagging.

I credit the books I have read, lectures I have attended, and shows I have watched.  Some of the nuggets I keep replaying are:  (I can not remember who to credit these to)

1.  Some of the the biggest battles we have with our kids are over 3-5 minutes of time.  They just want to read one more book with you.  Just do it!

2.  Have an 80/20% rule for your kids.  Make them do something 80% of the time and you just do it 20% of the time.

3.  You need to let them stumble in order to succeed.  We should all learn from our mistakes.

So I like the parent I am NOW even though I know bigger battles are to come.  I hope I continue to become seasoned and molded in order to deal with the challenges that will present.  I also hope and pray that the parent I was for each child during each milestone was the parent they needed.  And as much as I wish it were different, I pray it was the way God intended it to be.

After having a lengthy conversation with my office manager today, it made me think of this quote by Ram Dass, the great “be here now” teacher.  How does family know how to push our buttons so well?  The answer is, they raised us!  Those buttons were put there by them! They installed them!  Love the holidays!